Grieving

Yesterday something happened that I wanted to talk to my mom about.  I received a catalog from Country Curtains saying that they were going out of business. My mom and I have purchased curtains from this company for 30 years.  We devour the catalog and talk about the beautiful fabrics and which room we need to buy curtains for. I would call her and ask if her catalog came in the mail, and then the decorating would begin.

I still have the first curtains that I ever purchased from this company in 1981.  My bedroom curtains are Country Curtains that I purchased in 1986.  When we packed up my parents home so many of the curtains had their label.  We loved this company.  I am so sad they are closing.

My mom passed away almost three months ago and I still get that urge once in a while to tell her something.  However, yesterday was different.  I definitely felt a loss and the hole that her passing has left in my life.  Plus I realized that everyone grieves in their own way.  I am quiet and internal.  I avoid conversations about my mother and don’t care for people to show me sympathy.  Knowing my mother would want me to carry on gives me purpose.  So I do.

My dad needs something different.  He cries. He tears up when a memory is brought up.  He needs to talk about her and about their life together. He gave up the life he knew with her last November, and in July he lost her too.  So today I called Hospice of the Piedmont/Triad and asked to enroll him into grief counseling. It is another one of the services that Hospice provides to families.

This Saturday is the 2017 Walk to End Alzheimer’s in Guilford County, NC.  My family and I are walking to honor my mother.  Hopefully, money we raise will help find a cure for this horrible illness.

So now, I am opening my catalog and ordering some curtains that she would have liked for my guest room.  Miss you mom.

 

 

Barbara

 

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